Photo by Felicia Montenegro on Unsplash
Today would have been my late father’s 95th birthday and he inspires this post. My dad was an incredible, kind-hearted, true gentleman who struggled with nervousness, especially in crowded social settings. I often saw him tense up, wanting to connect with people and at the same time feeling overwhelmed by unease. His experiences became a mirror for me—I have had my battles with nervousness, unease and restlessness and sometimes I feel like I have inherited that from him. Over time, I have had to work through these feelings and one of the most powerful tools for releasing those moments of tension is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) or Tapping.
This tapping sequence is deeply personal to me because it has helped me manage the same nervousness my father carried. So today, I want to share this practice with you, as a way of honouring him and offering guidance to anyone else who may be feeling a similar unease.
How EFT Helps Us Bloom
Nervousness, like a Rosebud tightly curled up in fear, can make us close off to the world. Yet, just as every Rose contains the potential to bloom, each of us has a place of calm inside that can open up. My father, despite his nervous nature, had moments of deep inner peace and calm that I have come to see within myself as well. Tapping helps soften the layers of unease, allowing the gentle unfoldment of that inner calm to emerge.
In my experience, tapping has been a way to access that peaceful centre, to remind myself that it is safe to be present and to trust myself. And I want the same for you.
A Step-by-Step Tapping Sequence for Nervousness, Unease + Feeling Overwhelmed in Crowded Social Settings
Before we start, take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about your ability to stay calm and centered in crowded social settings?
Ask yourself:
Where do I feel nervousness or unease in my body right now?
What emotions or thoughts hold me back from feeling relaxed and comfortable in these settings?
On a standard 0-to-10 Subjective Units of Distress (SUD) scale, where 1 represents feeling completely at ease and 10 represents feeling highly tense, where would you place yourself? After the tapping, we will revisit this number to see if it has shifted.
Step 1: Becoming Aware of Nervousness
Start by bringing awareness to where you feel tight or nervous in your body. Is there a tightness in your chest, butterflies in your stomach, or maybe a racing mind? Close your eyes and breathe into those spaces, like a Rosebud slowly opening to the morning sun.
Setup Statements: Repeat the three setup statements while tapping on the Side of the Hand (SOH) point:
"Even though I feel nervous and tense in crowded social settings, I choose to accept myself and how I am feeling."
"Even though I feel uneasy and uncomfortable in large crowds, especially in my [insert where you feel the nervousness, e.g., chest, stomach], I honour how I feel in this moment."
"Even though this nervousness and unease makes me feel overwhelmed, I deeply and completely accept that these are my feelings.
Step 2: Tapping Points to Acknowledge Nervousness
Begin tapping through the following acupoints while saying the associated phrases. As you tap, imagine your nervousness as a tight Rosebud, slowly softening with each breath and tap.
Top of Head (TOH): "I feel this nervousness weighing me down."
Eyebrow (EB): "There is unease in my chest and stomach."
Side of Eye (SE): "These feelings of nervousness and unease are overwhelming."
Under Eye (UE): "It is hard to let go of this nervousness."
Under Nose (UN): "I feel stuck with this unease."
Chin (CH): "This nervousness feels so real right now."
Collarbone (CB): "I can feel the tension building up in my body."
Under Arm (UA): "These feelings are keeping me from feeling comfortable."
Repeat the tapping round as many times as needed until you feel you have fully acknowledged and connected with the nervousness or unease holding you back. After completing this round, revisit the score you gave yourself at the beginning. Has it decreased, stayed the same, or increased? If the number has decreased, it means you are starting to release the tension. If it hasn’t changed, continue tapping until you feel a shift.
Step 3: Releasing Unease and Inviting Calm
Now that you have acknowledged your nervousness and unease, let us focus on releasing it and inviting a sense of peace and relaxation into your body and mind. Picture your Rosebud opening, releasing any tension and blossoming into calm and clarity.
Setup Statements:
"Even though I have been carrying this unease, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and release it now."
"Even though I have been overwhelmed by this nervousness, I choose to let it go and open myself to peace."
"Even though I have struggled with feeling comfortable, I now allow my inner Rose to bloom and sparkle freely."
Step 4: Tapping Points to Release Nervousness
As you tap through the following acupoints, imagine yourself letting go of the nervous energy and inviting in calmness and clarity.
Top of Head (TOH): "Releasing the nervous tension I have been holding on to."
Eyebrow (EB): "Letting go of the unease in my body and mind."
Side of Eye (SE): "It is safe to release this unease now."
Under Eye (UE): "Clearing the nervousness, like letting go of worry."
Under Nose (UN): "Inviting peace and calm into my body."
Chin (CH): "Allowing my mind to feel clear and balanced."
Collarbone (CB): "I deserve to feel calm and at ease."
Under Arm (UA): "My inner Rose is blooming with peace and confidence."
After completing this tapping round, revisit the score you gave yourself at the beginning. Has the nervousness decreased? If not, continue tapping until you notice a change.
Step 5: Inviting Confidence and Ease
With the nervousness cleared, now it is time to invite a sense of ease and confidence into your life. Let us tap through a final round that focuses on fully embracing this new sense of calm and empowerment.
Setup Statements:
"Even though I have held back in social settings, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself and I now invite confidence into my life."
"Even though I have struggled with nervousness, I now choose to thrive and feel at ease in any crowd."
"Even though I have felt disconnected, I now allow my body and mind to bloom and sparkle with calm, confidence and peace."
Step 6: Tapping Points to Invite Confidence
Top of Head (TOH): "I am open to confidence and ease."
Eyebrow (EB): "I choose to feel calm in any social setting."
Side of Eye (SE): "My body and mind are fully aligned and at ease."
Under Eye (UE): "I invite joy and relaxation into every part of me."
Under Nose (UN): "My inner Rose is blooming beautifully with peace."
Chin (CH): "I am confident, calm and thriving."
Collarbone (CB): "I deserve to feel connected and at ease in every situation."
Under Arm (UA): "My mind and body are in harmony, blooming and sparkling into ease, grace and peace."
Revisit Your Score
Now that you have completed the tapping sequence, revisit the number you gave yourself at the start. How has it shifted? Are you feeling calmer, more centered and at ease in your body?
A Personal Journey to Peace
There were many moments when I wished I could have helped my dad ease his nervousness. Now, as I tap, I imagine us both finding peace together. Tapping has shown me that no matter how deeply nervousness runs, we can gently release it, layer by layer and allow ourselves to feel more peaceful and at ease.
Why EFT Is Like Watering Your Inner Garden
Just as a Rose needs water and sunlight to thrive, we need self-compassion and tools like tapping to nurture our inner peace and calm. Research shows that EFT lowers cortisol and calms the brain’s stress response, helping us feel more grounded and present. With practice, tapping can transform nervousness into a sense of ease and confidence.
Last Reflection
As I reflect on my father's 95th birthday, I think about how we all carry certain emotional patterns, sometimes from our parents, sometimes from life itself. Nervousness does not have to define us. Tapping is a self-help, gentle, effective way to loosen the tight grip of unease and invite a sense of calm into our hearts. The next time you feel that familiar tension rise, take a moment to tap through this sequence. You might be surprised at how much lighter you feel - and how your inner Rose begins to bloom and sparkle.🌹 ✨
With Love
In memory of my beloved father, eternally in my heart and the power of peace. ♥ ☮
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